Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Lately, I've been wondering...

  • why haven't i bought any shoes lately
  • what people are thinking when i catch them staring at me
  • why am i never able to get up early in the morning
  • if i gobble my food when i eat
  • what so i look like when i sleep
  • what do i usually smell like
  • if i have found my soul mate
  • if my soul mate has found me
  • what it feels like to be a celebrity
  • what it feels like to be 300 pounds
  • what it feels like to be a doctor and have lives depend on you
  • if i am capable of killing

Monday, October 15, 2007

I took a few steps back today

I was once told; When a problem seem huge and unsolvable, take a few steps back and look at it again, it will instantly seem a whole lot smaller.

I've been missing a dear friend very much lately. Been thinking and wondering how she's been as i haven't heard from her for some time now. I missed those times we shared about each other's troubles and how we would say that we're God-sent to each other because we met each other during our troubled and needy moments.

She taught so many valuable lessons in life, not by the word of mouth, but through her experiences in life. And it was through her, i discovered how unreasonable and self-centered i can be. There's this one time, i threw a fit just because i was hungry and feeling overworked. She came to me, listened to my bickering, comforted me then proceeded to telling me that her aunt who was suffering from cancer passed away about an hour ago, so she will need to be away to help arrange the funeral.

A complete fool. That was i felt and still feel until today. I'm sure if given the choice, she would rather go hungry and overworked everyday than to arrange a family's funeral.

Lately, i have been having those moody spells; one of those days i dread waking up and get my ass off to work. One of those moments i would feel unappreciated, hollow and questioning the purpose of life. In the end of the day, i would say it's one of those self-pity hangover just to give myself the reason to feel bad. So, i sat there alone, thinking; if my friend was here listening to my meaningless bickering, i am sure she will share something about life with me that will instantly deflate my so-called troubles. And i will start feeling foolish and immediately realize that i should be thankful for every day in my life.

And as if by God's will. A battled soul came to me for my 'word of advice' and 'support' during one of her darkest moments battling with a strange disease that's threatening her life. Seeing someone so young, so full of life and future ahead of her dealing such a horrific disease broke my heart into a million pieces because just days ago, i felt like shit for almost no reason. And here's someone much younger than me, still smiling and being ultra optimistic about life even when her hair is falling off by chunks within a matter of days.

She may have came to me for strength and support, but i silently studied this young lady's existing inner strength. And at times like this, i just wanted her to know that she will be alright. I even admitted to her that i myself would not have dealt with this any better than her. She is indeed very strong and determined.

So, i took a few steps back today. And instead of seeing total darkness, it was indeed just a black circle surrounded by much brighter things.

She thanked me for listening and comfort. And i thanked her for a life's lesson.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

"Giant Leap" Sure boh???

Photo by thestar.com.my
Caption: Dr Sheikh Muszaphar smiling from inside the spacecraft minutes after the launch on Wednesday.

Of course smiling lah... The country spent like close to RM100 million to send this pretty boy to space just so our history will look good although we're just hitching a ride to space.

Haih... i don't like bashing our governments all the time lah, tired also... but declaring this so called achievement to space as a Giant Leap, i cannot help but to shake my head and roll my eyes so hard at the same time.

Okay... i'm not gonna act politic savvy and all, but hey... i'm aware of the realistic issues and problems this country is facing by *hello* the citizen. And RM100 million could do the thousands of people good instead of one fella with the mission to fast on outer space! *tsk, tsk, tsk*

Okay, complaining and bashing is no good without my 2 cents right, here's what i'll do as a prime minister with that 100 mil grand. I will:

1. UPGRADE OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM: Send all school teachers for to places like Australia and New Zealand to study the teaching methodology used and apply it in our country. Because i think we lack mentally experienced people to educate the younger generations. Most teachers are almost fresh baked buns from oven, emotionally unstable or too old fuddy duddy to touch the taboo of sex! Arghhhhh, i said it!
Yes, Malaysia needs serious sexsexsexsexsexsexsex education!!!!

UPGRADE THE COUNTRIES SECURITY SYSTEM: And before we do that, i think our government should look into the police's working condition. I don't understand how one can be all happy and efficient under such degrading surroundings; broken air conditions, tv with no reception, mis-match furnitures and leaking roofs. It's a no wonder they don't take the citizens safety seriously, i feel they weren't taken seriously by their bosses in the first place.

3. SEND KIDS OVERSEAS: Not all kids have the privilege to see the world like some lucky brats. But i also believe that experiencing another part of the world and culture is essential to allow that person grow and be more compassionate. And i feel Malaysia lacks that big time. If we can spend so much marney for one numb chuck, why not use that money to benefit the nation's future.

Aiyahh... my bashing will be endless if i go on. As much as i want to be all teary and emotional about a Malaysian making history, i cannot help but to feel almost nothing towards this. Sorry, but still lah, i'm happy for you guys... getting to fast on space. I also pray for your safe journey. But err... i don't see how else will this expensive trip is gonna benefit the country. Yeahlah... now more people are probably so effin inspired to go space now... even scarier, i cannot imagine the government paying anymore marney to hitch a ride the space again *sigh*

At this moment, my mind is only with the miracle girl who had a double heart transplant, and the family who lost their little girl to a sick monster. But their nightmare didn't end there cause her post-mortem pics are being circulated on the internet now. Who did it? Only 2 possibilities; Police or Doctor! Tak kan some paparazzi or outsider took it right??!! *sigh* So there you go... no amount of space trip will improve situations like this. So, if the prime minister is going to state this space mission as a giant leap, i would humbly disagree. The giant leap for Malaysia would be overcoming the racial barrier and not be top 10 on the asia's most corrupted countries list. Meanwhile...

Happy shiok sendiri Mr Prime Minister.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Ibrahim Lincoln

Scene: It was after dinner and mom started her daily updates with us.

Me: (flipping through the papers)
Mom: Eh, now adays ah, it's really important to read the papers, cause it's only through the papers you'll find out some people you know already say 'bye-bye' (aka R.I.P) Like today hor... i found out that Dr.Ibrahim passed away from the papers... So sudden lor.
Me: (still looking at the papers and half alert of mom's yadas...) Oh...*nods*
Mom: Yeah, just 2 weeks ago i saw him at church... still strong and healthy! No signs of illness and...
Me: Har?*turns around and gave my mom the peculiar look* Mee... Dr.Ibrahim goes to church???
Mom: Yahlah... St.Mary church mah... many years alre....
Me: Dr.IBRAHIM goes to church???
Mom: eh... *thinks abit* Ibra...him...Abra...
Mike: Abraham isit? *chuckles*
Mom: Ahhhh yah,yah... Dr.Abraham!!!

Ok, i know i'm damn mean laughing at my mom, but she doesn makes the funniest errors sometimes! I also found out from Mike that apparently, the name Ibrahim is in fact translated from Abraham from the bible! So she's NOT all that wrong! *giggle* learn something new the funny way at least! :p

It's yesterday once more...

After seeing Joey's recent post, i know i hafta do one of those memory lane thingy just for old times sake! It's quite amazing; looking back, reminiscing those years that seem to be like only yesterday to me, and i suddenly realize that some friends actually shared so much past and memories with me! So let's begin with almost a decade back; 1998 when most teenagers thinks that they're in the grown ups category (well, almost!) atleast, no school uniforms and being 18 also means, legal for clubs and alcohol. (Beware of blurry photos because i was too lazy ass to scan them, i took them with the digi cam instead!)

Sour plum 18.
Not exactly your 'little miss sunshine' here because i was 'cam-raped'. And at that very moment, i was modeling my very 1st 3d project using Infini-D.

I consider myself the geek clan back then. Mainly because we take our *cough* studies very *cough* seriously. And our source of entertainment as you can see, are extremely healthy and community friendly. And yes, thats me holding that 'mega cool' lantern during the mooncake festival celebration i organized for my college mates at Central Park!

The geek clan.
I still sorta keep in touch with most of the peeps in here. Some have started their own companies, some are into a totally who different nature of business. Some got married, some migrated and some are just busy blogging.

Hang out clan.
We do go clubbing, pubs and all, but back then, teenagers were generally monetary conscious because we haven't got a lot of cheaper alternatives! (unlike today!!! spoilt brats~) So, if my friends and i do go clubbing, we would make sure that there's something worth celebrating and get high over. Otherwise, we're happy with the 24hr A&W joint!

Lil and i on our diploma grad day at err... Nikko Hotel isit?
Hey Lil, remember the night before our grad ceremony morning, Kelvin, you and i rushed to Pyramid to buy me a shirt and black shoes?! Hahaha... i just recalled vaguely that we were so casual and blah about the whole grad thing. We even made fun of ourselves in the oversized gown by mimicking the gospel singers singing "Oh happy days..."

Uni Days @ Melbourne
Sharene & Lil posing with with the very faint sight of the rainbow. I forgot what carnival we went to, but i sure do remember the amount of fun we had there!

Sharene and i.
We were housemates and basically inseparable back then.
*missing her*

Spot Lilian
It's hard i know. And I'm still looking...

The Usual Suspects
On Crystal's 21st party. There was a big ass group of peeps, but i'm just showing u the relevants, so dun think that our party is not happening k?! Anyways, the theme was 'traffic light' *pretty lame* now that i think back. Red stands for Taken, Yellow stands for Unsure while Green stands for Come get me baby!

(This is posted for Joey, hehehe...)
We then headed to the park across our apartment and err... play with fireworks? Lilian again, enjoying her 'King Cat'. Ohhh.. i also remembered that i was almost got attacked by a mother possum because Lilians fireworks freaked those fellas on the tree!

Summer Lovin'
Hanging out at St.Kilda if not mistaken...

Justin - White on the outside, yellow on the inside.
My 1st photo booth cam whoring experience. Recommended by my canadian classmate Justin. I remembered that i was down with a really bad flu that day and this fella keep insisting that i try this cam-booth-whore thingy when we walked past the shop at Swanston St. He's right, it's so addictive! So...

the next time, we went back with more people! :p

So yesterday
ok... i gotta admit, i'm glad he's out of the boy band hair do.

This is probably the coolest grad ceremony ever. I mean, how many of you actually have yours in the stadium? Of course i have to brag about it la right? hehe...

So yeah, there you have it! Wish i could post more.. maybe next round! ;) Let's see who's the next one to post their nostalgic sentiments on their blog!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Just a moment please...

While I'm desperately trying to keep myself awake whilst studying the stacks of paperwork. (Yes, i'm actually studying though it's something i am not very good at.) I'm good at observing and visualizing matters but not studying... anyways, my mind decides to drift and i subconsciously started doodling with my numb mind on the same paper i'm doing something err... important.

Then, my bitch stopped by and gave me a raspberry muffin.
It made my moment if not day...

and then my bitch saw my doodling and got inspired.
10 minutes later he came back with this...

I'm glad he's not my hairstylist!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

It's all about that perfect timing...

When you are feeling alright and then that somebody who holds that piece of your broken happiness appears prancing about before you. And just moments before that, you had a great cup of coffee which suddenly feels like reversing the cycle of being swallowed just because you are too upset to be reminded about that awful past. The combination of caffeine and unstable emotional reaction is causing your heart to pound trice its normal pace and your hands and lips to tremble uncontrollably. So you helplessly start welling up but you are surrounded by people whom you will not allow to see you cry. And then... this song comes up to you...

So, yes... nobody knows. That's for sure.