Saturday, April 29, 2006

Kick my FAT Ass!

I am loosing the blogging interest already... Procrastinating each time; giving myself excuses not to pen down my thoughts. Then again, overcoming procrastination is my ultimate goal of the year! So fuck off you procrastinator!

Let's see, it's been 10 days since i documented some stalled happenings. Since then, i've been so busy with work, markings, students, issues and that coming exhibition. Boy, do i miss that 2 teaching days per week.

Spring-cleaning while watching Oprah, sleep in til 10am, meet Crystal for tea on weekdays and reading while sun bathing by the pool... all over. My reading hour has been limited to the cubicle while im taking natures call now. I try to double my productivity by multi-tasking; not like i need a brain to shit anyway.

But i couldn't possibly survive on a part-time pay scale. I hate having to make-do with whatever i have each month, it sucks. With a car loan to pay off each month, bills to pay and my incurable fetish for clothes and shoes, i seriously needed a consistent income.

By far, i'm taking my new workload pretty okay. It was a BIG break for me from the mundane teaching hours and students. For a moment there, i actually felt everything's becoming meaningless. I lost interest with the students and my subjects. I lost aim with my job somehow.

Now that i'm back fulltime, i find myself actually connecting with my job and students better. Surprisingly more patient and tolerable...

Have i finally grown???

Oh well... i really can't tell- yet! It's only been a month and time is flying fast! I feel like i'm running after time to get things done now! One thing comes after another!

Okay, enough of work. I am currently reading this book called Tuesday's with Morrie. It's a pretty thin book, but i'm taking double the time to read it compared to Da Vinci's Code. Not that it's boring or anything like that, but it's such a meaningful book that sometimes, i feel that the book's talking to me! So i find it quite "naggy". But it has such great quotes and lessons to life. I'm planning to buy this book for so many friend as a present already.

Monday, April 17, 2006

The night i played Host!

Yup! I finally played host to a BBQ party for some my collegues and friends last April the 9th. It felt really good judging that everything turn out pretty well and i managed to stressed the heck out of myself to prepare all the main dishes!
Well.. the diva ol' me couldn't stand potluck as much as they are convenient and distasteful. I don't like thinking that my guest sleft with a stomache full of junk food and carbonated drinks!

Yes, call me a diva but i really don't care! I like to host in style and set my standards high~ especially when it comes to hosting parties.
Anyways, though i must admit the underestimation of food preparations (one always have their very first BIG scale party to begin with!)but i got my fair share of compliments from my guests and everything was wiped out! Thank goodness... i totally hated wastage!

The party was initially planned for Chienni and Jac as a farewell celebration. But it felt more like a house warming party as everybody were more interested about my crib than anything else. o_O

But it was a superb night, the weather was just right; though slightly warm. It rained the crap out the night before and i was sooooo thankful i DID NOT manage to book the saturday night slot! If not...BooHOoOoOOoo!!!

But like the Chinese saying goes... "It often rains on a stingy person's parade!So far, i doubt i'm even anywhere there! Hehehe... Okay..self praise is no praise, but i do consider myself pretty generous! Chipping in the extras for the food and prepared them even! I have to be atleast proud of the looks of it! :)

Alright, self praise aside! i know for sure that i could not have made it without my man! He helped me SO MUCH! Nothing related to the kitchen though... but he was driving me around to get stuff and also helped out at cleaning the house. He was such a darling~ even the guys complimented my man's support for me. :) Well... what can i say... there's reason why he is the love of my life! :)

All in all, the bbq party turned out well, and i couldn't be happier. It's been raining every weekends now and i can't help but to cheekily grinned at my myself! >_<

Thursday, April 13, 2006

A (Gentle) Reminder~

Just got back from a brief meet-up with two friends from the hood. SY has been trying to get hold of me for months to give me her wedding invitation. Yup, the second one in the line from the group of girls (well..sort of~). But she beat my record for having a kid first. Something which i highly respect her for doing- being a mom.
Then there's CZ, the girl whom i was never really fond of even up till now. I can't really comprehend that dislike for her; it's like i never really got over those little grudge i had against her since we were teenagers. Call me unforgiving, but i know my character, i don't tolerate when i don't have to. I accept the fact that since i am not likeable by all so i don't have to like all either~
Anyway, we had a quick catch up, as usual CZ started her usual screwing me around for not calling and hanging out with them. I finally remembered why she cheeses me off so much, she talks like everybody owes her an explanation to everything they do in life. And the conversation evolves only around her own little world trying to make it big~ I was quite speechless because i forgot the ways of churning out words and vocabs for conversations like these. I can only remember feeling extremely uncomfortable listening to her "sampatings" about who's doing what, been there, done that and yadayadayada... followed by her confident and knowing look. So yeah, you know it all and so? I couldn't relate at all... SY and i were mostly quiet while the blabber machine goes on doing her report about everybody else's business. I can't help but to wonder about my hard-boiled interest about those people whom i grew up with. Seems that i have almost zero interest at catching up with them. And i've made myself quite clear about avoiding gatherings they organise and so on. I just don't feel that sense of belonging with them, not anymore at least. But they keep coming back. As much as i am happy to know that they still think of me, i don't think we click in anyway anymore. I am not even sure if it's that ONE person who turns me off these gathering or all of them in general. I always felt it to be a waste of time for me...
Yes, i admit that i have changed tons since i officially left these people behind for college. I've been a nomad all my life after that. Moving on to new things all the time, making sure that i won't get stuck at anywhere for too long. So far, i think i've done a pretty good job. And along the way, i've found some much needed comfort and true companion who brings me so much true comfort. I just don't want to go back there anymore... i have lost all touch with their lifestyle!
But that brief moment i had just now did made me realise how far apart i have grown from them. And how i do not regret that distance between those people whom i use to be close with. And in a way, i wouldn't be who i am today either if it's not for them! I can gratefully and at the same time bluntly put it that whatever i learn to be AND not to be, i learn it from them.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Not as i thought it would be...

Finally, the day has arrived. The day that i thought i'd eagerly awaited for. But... Who would have thought; this day didn't really turn up at my doorstep as i expected it to be.

KL Lights has announced it's official wrap for season one. "Does that mean, there will be a season 2???" I also thought i would be spending some time off "recovering" from those crazy hours of shooting and so on. But i ended up recovering from it much earlier; so much earlier that i think i've developed mental bed sores.

It's been an experience regardless of what has become. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything else. P/S: Thanks for mentioning me, Pon... it's been great having met all of you crazy and fun ppl! :)

And throughout these years of constant work and questioning, i think i finally found some sort of belonging. I am however uncertain how long i can maintain that sense of belonging before i loose it again.

Though i will be resuming to my fulltime schedule next week, i will have so much more to adapt than the working hours. The people whom i have grew close with over the years are pretty much all wiped out. Off they are to somewhere better for them. Couldn't help but to wonder when that day will come for me.

Time has changed, that's for sure. And as usual, i can only anticipate for the better.